PeoPle

People walk in and out in our life.
People talk front and back in our life.
People think backward and forward in the reality.
And People step when they feel threaten.

Selfish, unsatisfaction, anger, jealous!!! Why must those Unhappiness feelings occured!!!
Appreciation, thankful, loving, kindness!!! Where have those feelings been???

The world is getting smaller and smaller, tinier and tinier, and yet people are still destroying it!!!
People, wake up!!!
Why must we go for wealthy when more and more people are suffering?
Why must we go for power when more and more people are dying?
Why can't we understand, help and live harmony??

We as Mars and Venus are God's creation!!
The Green was giving by God to make freshness.
Other Living creatures were created, as an opportunity to live.
Instead of giving, But was destroyed by both evil hands!!

Trust, loyal, forgiving, faithful were no longer in people's mind.
Revenge, hatress and betray actions will be conducting if one wasn't go successfully.
Tell me, tell me why..... Why must let the cruel, the devil inside us took part?







As I grow older and older, I started to pinerlise myself for not being able to cope with the environment, I started to look down for not being able to respond quickly, and I started to hate when I know I was not a good and knowledgable person.
Tiredness filled around my bottle and is so hard for me to breath.

WTH??!!

Out of no where I signed on the contract.
Out of sudden I accepted the given opportunity without thinking it much.
What am I trying to do?
What am I thinking?
Am I out of senses?
Am I insane??
Sigh~~~~~~

Exhausted

This is my 6th weeks working in D.
I love my job, my colleagues and environment over there.
Unfortunately, I can't see my future in there. Toleration given by my colleagues are too much, too much making the whole scenery become fake.
I was trying to focus and pay 100% on my work, yet I can't. I can't not because I don't want, but because I'm weak.
My weakness is too strong that sometimes I can't even bare it on myself.
I tried not to panic, not to be greedy, not to be childish and be myself.
And I realized myself is actually that loser. I'm not penalizing myself but it's the fact. I always tell other to accept the fact yet I can't see myself practicing that.
People around me always showing me their care but everytimes disappointment must occur and destroy the beautiful scene.
Christmas is near, can I make a wish to Santa and ask him to deliver it to me? If there is a Santa, there weren't poor kids hanging around the street.
I really losing my way in facing him. Am I thick skin or think too much that he's actually asking for sympathy?
I afraid he might do something crazy, out of sense and suicide.
Am I thinking it too badly?
Or I'm just assume it wrongly?
I'm not sure how long I can maintain like this, as I know my limit not left much.
I'm exhausted thinking of those silly stuffs. I wish January come quickly so that I can end my contract faster and leave peacecefully.

Too much feelings?!

I always thought, human need chances to grow, to gain deeper knowledge and make healthier living, but I was wrong. My mind is not mature enough to differentiate the right and the wrong things. I thought, I was able to carry it by myself, not until I realized, I'm a problem creator.
Yesterday, I gave a candidate a chance, to make a better living of herself, guess what? Today, what I can see is, gossips are around, appreciation wasn't in the place and humanize wasn't there as well. Was I making a wrong decision to give them chances? Thanks to my senior for giving me the opportunity to conduct the program, I guess I was not confident and not fierce enough, I failed him. Candidate Z not respecting me and not obeying me. Should or shouldn't I give her another chance? Anyway, with the yes or no answer, my senses told me, something big going to happen tomorrow? No matter what, I'm ready to face the consequences.

Happy yet guilty

I suppose to be happy but I destroyed the happiness. The feeling of disappointment is now concurring my heart, soul and mind. The innocent me, now changed to devil. Lying, cheating and pretending is my no.1 skill, I'm pro in that. I wish I have a chance to act in a drama. Definitely, I'll win the award of best liar. I have cheated and fooled the world. How can I ever did that? But don't worry, I know the justice will play fairly, the cheater will soon be caught and embarrass in front of the trillion audience. No one ever make mistake. Yes, very true context, yet I keep on doing the same mistake. When can I wake up, wake up and face the reality that I'm a loser and afraid of failure in reality? All those positive words that I had given, are pointless. Pointless from the starting. I'm tired and bored of it. I couldn't use the ability given by god appropriately. I keep on blaming and finding excuse to cover the problem one after another. I never try to stand alone. How can I turned into this bitch? I had betrayed myself.

Fun Skating Day!!!

I went skating with friends today. Previously, I can only balance myself with the roller blade after long practicing alone (without knowing how to skate), but today, I can still balancing myself and also able to skate. Not really pro type eh skate, at least I know how to skate which makes me very happy, thanks to Sweetie (my great friend and teacher)!!! I fall a lot today. Although hands hurt more but I feel happy. Embarrassment, happiness, fun, and tiredness filled my day today. Thanks to all my best friends.
Everytime when I feel down while looking into myself, those group friends of mine will cheer me up. With or without realizing, friends to me are important because I know with true friends by our side, our days can be glittering, fantastic, and most importantly, give us hope on every dark side when we look it as a hopeless side. Thank God I have those friends with me and I'm sure I have no regret complaining life is suck. I guess I'm lucky to have those friends surrounded me while they're in bad luck of meeting me. I'm praying to God, to whom I categorized as my true best friends and lovely parents and sisters, your day will be as glitter as the sequins and as shinning as the stars =D

Relaxation

I love the feeling of relaxity after a busy day. While other partying outside, I love the feeling of listening to sentimental music to cure the tiredness inside me. Sometimes, life can be tremendously sucks when someone enters your life and create hardship for you. Wherever I am, I still believe that barriers that I had in my past will make me grow stronger and barriers that coming up will wider up my knowledge to adapt to the changing environment. But (there's always a BUT in life when we afraid we might not be able to cope with the environment), I still couldn't find the right path for me to move further step ahead me. I dislike seeing the one I love hurt the most and I never wish to see something that hurt my eyes. Yet, I saw many insincere actions do happen and people do practice what shouldn't be done. What is this all about? Is it gaining own satisfaction is much more important than bringing happiness to other? Honestly speaking, I'm not complaining or finding an excuse but seriously I'm tired. Sometimes, in the relaxation I do make daydream but those dream are just for self-satisfaction, although some people might find it a waste of time.