Someone is avoiding me

At last I can breath, breath for a release that assignments time is over for now. But I found out that someone is avoiding me. Not to mention his/her name but the feeling is there. Am I too sensitive or alert to the surrounding? Maybe I'm too sensitive and guessing too much. In my life, many people had taken the step to avoid me. Yea, I know the reason, seriously I knew. Am kind a bored and that's the first reason why people are getting far and far away from me. Sometimes, my caring is too much that at the end of the period people will feel annoyed and fade up with me. Yet I can't just stood at a side and pretend nothing had happened. My caring sometimes annoyed but I just trying to play a friendly game, no intention on hurting or get someone into troubles. A nice word is called 'caring' if the opposite called 'busybody'. Human are funny and unpredictable. And I know I'm losing my patient-ness. I no longer want a thing to complete in a slow motion way but the faster as I can go is the best. I'm trying not to offer second time of offer yet I just can't make it. And when the second offer disagree from the party, my temper is out. Everytime I wanted to change the anger in me, I just can't. Am I too caring or busybody? And why are you avoiding me????

Am I too Dumb or too Kind??

Am I playing my role correctly?
Sometimes I really wonder why am I born into this world. Seriously, I do get great feedback for the questions I asked but not everytime. I knew life isn't perfect all the time, but I still practice negatively when something isn't good happened. Everyone wants everything to be done perfectly and yes they can make it, but I can't.
I told myself not to be so childish and playful yet I can't make it, but getting worse to worse or it can says seeing hungry ghost floating on the road. Honestly speaking, I do try my best to change. But I don't know why, when I feel the changing time,the next time, I'll change back into the old me. People out there are laughing at me,laughing for not doing my part well.
Sometimes, I really get confused. Why am I being so naive? Till now, I don't really have the answer to this question. But what I heard from everyone is that I'm too childish. Is that so? Or I'm too dumb.
Human love to play with masks but which want is the real mask behind the masks?

Should I feel happy......................... or sad??

The miracle is true when T told me I got 77 for my paper but I cannot feel the 100% happiness when I knew some of my friends were in the bad mood. Why? Why?? All of us had been trying so hard why can't all of us receive the good news. I dislike the feeling of don't know what to do to overcome the situation. Today I should feel the pleasure in me but now I realized although I got the highest I still feel depressed. Sometimes, human are ridiculous, happy yet sad, want yet don't want, flying yet saying themselves walking. Dear Buddha, again I'm lost. Lost because I don't know how to talk sweet and don't know how to overcome this feeling. I predicted that all of us can pass and R get the highest among all of us. Please, please tell me that it was a mistake that all of us can share the laughter again. I don't want to be isolated, I don't want to be famous out of sudden because I have not prepare myself and I know where my ability stands that I can't go far. Although it was my Great 21st birthday gift will I be maintained under my prediction?? I have no courage and I can't afford to lose something huge when I received something big.
Well, I think Buddha planned everything and I believe what he planned, are my goodness. I shouldn't complain much. But if there's a choice, I really hope happiness can reach everyone... No matter what, I am still who I am, I will not change I only go mature. Believe ME!!! Please do always Guide me Buddha!!!

True or Fake??

Unofficially received a miracle stated that I got 77 for my Marketing Strategy exam paper. Honestly, when I saw my mark written on the website, I was happy BUT feel ridiculous because I know where my ability stands. Of course who doesn't want such a mark. What I afraid is, putting too high hope end up higher disappointment. Until my coordinator came into class and told us that those marks stated on the website isn't real because that reveal on 1st marker only whereby it must moderate again through 2nd and 3rd markers. Luckily I never get too excited about it. Coming Wednesday, the TRUE results will be out. Will I be the lucky one to get the mark? Or mistakenly posted up wrong figure. Whatever it is, I already did my best, and I'm gonna leave it to Buddha. Hopefully all of us can pass just keep our fingers cross.

14, 15, 18, 20 Feb 2010

14 Feb: I had a wonderful day on the first day of Chinese New Year and also Valentine itself. My cousins and sisters were all enjoying but I enjoyed the most. My elder cousin spent RM80 plus plus at Starbucks and a lot of photos were taken during our outing and I do posted few of it on the Facebook.

15 Feb: San san and Jian jian came to my place. They are my Happy Angels that I can't stop wanted to hug and see them. Too adorable not to hug them. But Jian jian was crying yet so cute...just love them. And it was the most dareable thing I did on the same day of Chinese New Year. Again the group of us when to Church Street at town area to explore the night life. We bought two boxes of cigarette and a box of poker. Love that experience although I dislike to smoke.

18 Feb: My 2nd sis took me to Gurney with her friends, Munnee sis and friend, Toro, Mavis, Amanda to watch 72 Tenants (Chinese New Year movie). I had a wonderful time enjoying the day.

20 Feb: My classmates came to my house and play fireworks. I took and posted few memorable photos on my Facebook too...we laugh, we shout and enjoyed the day till fullest. We had our dinner at Little Cottage and supper at kopitiam.

Those are my special and in FEB 2010 with my cousins and sisters....XD

My 21st birthday!!!

Is another new year. And this year, is so special that I'm 21. A special thanks goes to my dad and mom who had organized a party for me on the 9th of January. It was a fun day and I've collected the most presents and red packets in my life.

However, I don't know why that the feeling of happy, guilty, and even sad were there. Maybe I'm happy because of receiving a lot of presents and friends attended my party!
Guilty because of my close cousins gave me expensive presents and friends who had contributed so much for me and worried that I might not be able to repay back.
Sad because of ..... I don't know...the feeling is just there.

The happiest thing that I received was, my second sis and $$ sis that had given me a SWATCH watch, stainless steel, which I dreamed long time ago. And yes, they fulfilled it. Buddha bless you all!!
My eldest sis, bought me 2kgs key cake also part of my thankfulness because without her, my birthday will not be as perfect as that day.
My grandma who had given me a gold key and my dad bought me the necklace who had also contributed to make the birthday environment 100% 21st birthday!!
"Mr. Bean" who had given me an unofficially surprise, where his words make me feel save under his arms ~~~~maybe daydream too much~~~ but I'm happy although its just an unofficially surprise...I love you!!
Skin Food cosmetic products which I also dreamed long time ago, thanks to my second sis who chooses for me and my eldest cousin sis who payed for it. iPod is another thing I'm happy of, although is a second hand product but I'm happy too. Its ok, if the thing which first belongs to me wasn't included but I counted lucky. I'm thankful for who I am but not thankful for what I've got. Because I know, to make me who I am, is the willingness that come from you to make me who I am.
And all my friends, thanks for all the presents, the sincerity that contains make me touched and surprises were given...You all are the best!!!

That's what I felt...happy yet guilty, cheerful yet sad and enjoyable yet uncontrollable mind. That's my world, full of negatives and positives.
THANKS guys who had make my 21st Birthday as special as today!!!!
May God Bless All of You and stay cheerful as today. HAKUNA MATATA!!!! muakss..... =D

End of 2009

Great!!!
Another year had passed and everyone is aiming for new hope, new life, new opportunities and new targets. I'm one of them too. Wanted to aim as high as I could and make the success come along my way. I've threw away all the sadness inside me and all the hate-ress as well. It's ok if no one ever understand what I'm thinking because Buddha had created me in the uniqueness way. I love him and I'm sure he loves me too. And not forgotten my lovely parents that guided me since I was a baby.
2009- I've achieved one of my greatest dream which is I've graduated from Diploma...haha....although diploma is just the beginning of life, I'm just very proud of myself, with my CGPA 3.50 and above...and I've always feeling thankful for what I've achieved. Other wishes which were not yet achieved, it's ok, I'll keep on trying and I really hope, Buddha will always be with me. I might be selfish for asking Buddha only keep an eye on me, because I know I wasn't as perfect as you...
I'll keep my hand cross for all of my friends and I'm really glad that although I've not learn much in the year 2009, all of my friends n family are still here with me although one of my Grandpa (lao ku) just passed away early November.
Forget the past and look forward, other can do it, You can do it too Wendy.
Wish myself all the best and for all of you stay happy like I do.
Stay cheer~~~~~ muaks..... XD