????

I started to become quiet in the family, quiet because of too much pressure or because of tiredness,I have no idea. There is a sentence say, "everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils". I found the sentence meaningful and so true about me. I know I'm kind of person who keep repeating the same mistake yet I can't figure out the mistake I've done. All the sadness in me I prefer to discover by other rather than speak it out and that's the reason why I dislike forcing as I know the ending of the forcing might end up ugly. I'm 100% sure that there is no one really understand me where I can't even know myself.
Today, Buddha has given me another chance of living where I should have now laying in the hospital if the motorcyclist doesn't hold his break. Is Buddha's decision right for giving me the chance as I feel I don't deserve it. Honestly speaking I'm too weak to continue my life too weak to find another way for my journey. But I really feel Thankful for that chance. The weaker will soon become herself I guess.......no matter what, I will still protecting myself.