True or Fake??

Unofficially received a miracle stated that I got 77 for my Marketing Strategy exam paper. Honestly, when I saw my mark written on the website, I was happy BUT feel ridiculous because I know where my ability stands. Of course who doesn't want such a mark. What I afraid is, putting too high hope end up higher disappointment. Until my coordinator came into class and told us that those marks stated on the website isn't real because that reveal on 1st marker only whereby it must moderate again through 2nd and 3rd markers. Luckily I never get too excited about it. Coming Wednesday, the TRUE results will be out. Will I be the lucky one to get the mark? Or mistakenly posted up wrong figure. Whatever it is, I already did my best, and I'm gonna leave it to Buddha. Hopefully all of us can pass just keep our fingers cross.

14, 15, 18, 20 Feb 2010

14 Feb: I had a wonderful day on the first day of Chinese New Year and also Valentine itself. My cousins and sisters were all enjoying but I enjoyed the most. My elder cousin spent RM80 plus plus at Starbucks and a lot of photos were taken during our outing and I do posted few of it on the Facebook.

15 Feb: San san and Jian jian came to my place. They are my Happy Angels that I can't stop wanted to hug and see them. Too adorable not to hug them. But Jian jian was crying yet so cute...just love them. And it was the most dareable thing I did on the same day of Chinese New Year. Again the group of us when to Church Street at town area to explore the night life. We bought two boxes of cigarette and a box of poker. Love that experience although I dislike to smoke.

18 Feb: My 2nd sis took me to Gurney with her friends, Munnee sis and friend, Toro, Mavis, Amanda to watch 72 Tenants (Chinese New Year movie). I had a wonderful time enjoying the day.

20 Feb: My classmates came to my house and play fireworks. I took and posted few memorable photos on my Facebook too...we laugh, we shout and enjoyed the day till fullest. We had our dinner at Little Cottage and supper at kopitiam.

Those are my special and in FEB 2010 with my cousins and sisters....XD

My 21st birthday!!!

Is another new year. And this year, is so special that I'm 21. A special thanks goes to my dad and mom who had organized a party for me on the 9th of January. It was a fun day and I've collected the most presents and red packets in my life.

However, I don't know why that the feeling of happy, guilty, and even sad were there. Maybe I'm happy because of receiving a lot of presents and friends attended my party!
Guilty because of my close cousins gave me expensive presents and friends who had contributed so much for me and worried that I might not be able to repay back.
Sad because of ..... I don't know...the feeling is just there.

The happiest thing that I received was, my second sis and $$ sis that had given me a SWATCH watch, stainless steel, which I dreamed long time ago. And yes, they fulfilled it. Buddha bless you all!!
My eldest sis, bought me 2kgs key cake also part of my thankfulness because without her, my birthday will not be as perfect as that day.
My grandma who had given me a gold key and my dad bought me the necklace who had also contributed to make the birthday environment 100% 21st birthday!!
"Mr. Bean" who had given me an unofficially surprise, where his words make me feel save under his arms ~~~~maybe daydream too much~~~ but I'm happy although its just an unofficially surprise...I love you!!
Skin Food cosmetic products which I also dreamed long time ago, thanks to my second sis who chooses for me and my eldest cousin sis who payed for it. iPod is another thing I'm happy of, although is a second hand product but I'm happy too. Its ok, if the thing which first belongs to me wasn't included but I counted lucky. I'm thankful for who I am but not thankful for what I've got. Because I know, to make me who I am, is the willingness that come from you to make me who I am.
And all my friends, thanks for all the presents, the sincerity that contains make me touched and surprises were given...You all are the best!!!

That's what I felt...happy yet guilty, cheerful yet sad and enjoyable yet uncontrollable mind. That's my world, full of negatives and positives.
THANKS guys who had make my 21st Birthday as special as today!!!!
May God Bless All of You and stay cheerful as today. HAKUNA MATATA!!!! muakss..... =D

End of 2009

Great!!!
Another year had passed and everyone is aiming for new hope, new life, new opportunities and new targets. I'm one of them too. Wanted to aim as high as I could and make the success come along my way. I've threw away all the sadness inside me and all the hate-ress as well. It's ok if no one ever understand what I'm thinking because Buddha had created me in the uniqueness way. I love him and I'm sure he loves me too. And not forgotten my lovely parents that guided me since I was a baby.
2009- I've achieved one of my greatest dream which is I've graduated from Diploma...haha....although diploma is just the beginning of life, I'm just very proud of myself, with my CGPA 3.50 and above...and I've always feeling thankful for what I've achieved. Other wishes which were not yet achieved, it's ok, I'll keep on trying and I really hope, Buddha will always be with me. I might be selfish for asking Buddha only keep an eye on me, because I know I wasn't as perfect as you...
I'll keep my hand cross for all of my friends and I'm really glad that although I've not learn much in the year 2009, all of my friends n family are still here with me although one of my Grandpa (lao ku) just passed away early November.
Forget the past and look forward, other can do it, You can do it too Wendy.
Wish myself all the best and for all of you stay happy like I do.
Stay cheer~~~~~ muaks..... XD

Misses my younger time!!!

WHEN CAN I BE CURED? I'M LOST!!!
I've met pirates during my sailing time. Those pirates were so cruel. They didn't kill me but tided me up with a rope and threw me into the sea. I can hardly breathe and I see many poison reptilians swimming in front of my eyes. Those reptile wanted to bit me, but thank God, I was save under his arms. When those pirates pull me out from drowning, I started to keep malice and wanted to revenge till the fullest. Where the hack those pirates come from. Can't they see that I've no money nor foods for them? And again, I'm weapon-less. When the malice inside me become stronger and stronger, I ignored everyone that come to me. I confused. Are they good or bad guys. I can't differentiate it correctly.
That's life. When you feel that your life is getting nearer to the achievement, barrier(s) will come(s) in. Hardly predict. If you were a smart one, you might be alive from those pirates, but if you are totally the opposite one, please say bye bye earlier. I'm the opposite one, and I've already say bye bye but how come I can't see my ending road yet?

????

I started to become quiet in the family, quiet because of too much pressure or because of tiredness,I have no idea. There is a sentence say, "everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils". I found the sentence meaningful and so true about me. I know I'm kind of person who keep repeating the same mistake yet I can't figure out the mistake I've done. All the sadness in me I prefer to discover by other rather than speak it out and that's the reason why I dislike forcing as I know the ending of the forcing might end up ugly. I'm 100% sure that there is no one really understand me where I can't even know myself.
Today, Buddha has given me another chance of living where I should have now laying in the hospital if the motorcyclist doesn't hold his break. Is Buddha's decision right for giving me the chance as I feel I don't deserve it. Honestly speaking I'm too weak to continue my life too weak to find another way for my journey. But I really feel Thankful for that chance. The weaker will soon become herself I guess.......no matter what, I will still protecting myself.

Disatisfaction

Why me? Why me? Why me?
I feel unfair to do all the jobs. I have to do the cleaning, the take-over/replacement, and all unwanted job. I feel tired to go on. The fact is I have choices but why you just don't let me try it. You make me feel that I'm useless,nonindependent, and a loser in everything. You should know when to let go of me instead of asking me to be by your side. If you want, I can hire a servant to help you out. Please don't tell everyone that you are doing good for me because you make feel that I can't live without you. Why my happy mood always spoiled by you? Am I not good enough for you? I know you are good to me but it's too over. Why must you tell everyone the good things that you have done? Can't you just keep quiet and do it silently? I feel bored, motion-less and speechless. The love that I used to give has become sympathy. The angry-ness in me has become my habit. Wherever I saw you, that's my attitude to you. Am I not enough toleration? Or you gave me too much of toleration until I disobey you? Do you ever know that whenever I mad of you, my heart is hurting? NO one understand why my attitude turns in a blink of an eye. The madness in me has reached 99%, afraid I might gone up to 101%.
I don't want to be a housewife. I wanted to concentrate in my studies because I need times to adjust my study skill. I'm not a fast learner like other.
Maybe I'm brave-less to object but I only have braveness in showing my habit.
I did complaint but it seems worst from time to time. You did it on purpose? How come I feel you hand me most of your job to me?? I really can't take it anymore because I feel the pain on my body. Can I reject and live my life that I wanted to be? I just can't make it because I know you are suffering. If I feel pitiful to you then who feel pitiful to me? If so then the evil would be me. I'm not trying to be heroin but I'm trying to protect myself.